On Breastfeeding a Toddler

I breast feed my two year old still. My walking, talking toddler. My little girl that can walk up to me and kindly ask, “Some boo boo please?”  Two is too old to be nursing? Sorry she didn’t get that memo.

Some days I feel like a really bad mom. I want to eat breakfast without having her nursing in my lap. She does not understand why she can’t nurse and has a fit. I make her wait while I finish, all the while she is sobbing heartbreaking cries, as if someone had slapped her. I feel like a really bad mom.

Before a birthday party I explain to her that she cannot have boo boo at the party. She repeats “No boo boo at the party.” And a half hour after we get there, she asks to nurse. I take her out to the car and tell her she can nurse out here but not inside. As I’m walking out to my car, I pass a pregnant woman (girl? she looked young) smoking a cigarette, explaining to some relative of hers that “The doctor says I am in so much pain with this one because it’s my 4th baby in such a short amount of time….” I feel like a bad mom. I feel bad that I live in such a society, that I feel the need to nurse in the car, so no one will judge me for nursing my toddler, but this woman had no shame openly smoking while pregnant.

Every time I pick up my knitting or crochet, every time some task demands my full attention, she wants to nurse. I know it’s so she will have my full attention and I feel guilty.

Every time I nurse her I have mixed emotions. She is so sweet and only wants mama; she is so suffocating I can’t do anything. 

Just tell her no. Only give it to her at home. Deal with the crying. Deal with the fit. Make her wait. Only give it to her at night. Just tell her no….Easy to say when you are not her mother. I know you are trying to help. I wish you understood.

As much as I love nursing her, I’m over it. I want to move on. As much as I’m over it, she is not. So honestly that is where I am with it. I want to be done and am slowly trying to wean her by telling her no, offering food or drink, redirecting her and ultimately giving in when these things fail.

An Awkward Mother

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One thought on “On Breastfeeding a Toddler

  1. Oh gosh I feel the same way my 2.5 year old.. She is a little more understanding lately that we can’t nurse everywhere mainly because I have up wearing tank tips under everything and no longer dress for nursing in public or I’d do it. I’m just waiting for her to stop.. I feel I can’t take it away from her.

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